So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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