great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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