The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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