I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
