i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
