we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
