That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
