I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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