I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
