Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
