please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
