Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
