this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
