i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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