I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
