pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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