I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I could fuck to npr.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
