Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
