How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
