I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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