Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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