saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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