I like to think it a success when the cops are called
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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