so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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