I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
