there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
