Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
