i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
