You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
