We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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