The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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