so explain again why im purple
no
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
