he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
