How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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