We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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