dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
