Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
