So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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