rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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