You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
