I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Two words: blizzard sex
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
