.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
