I'm gonna have a badass scar
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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