You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
