he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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