I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
