break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
