wanna go halves on a baby?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
