WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
