I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My vagina just clenched in fear
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
